Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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