I think scott just propositioned me for sex
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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