Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
