are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
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definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
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I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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