WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
