I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
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