scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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