i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize