i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
