I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize