it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
