I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
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I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
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Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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