it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
