The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
