so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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