i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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