im having a threesome with these popsicles
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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