I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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