Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
