i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
