Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
