If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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