I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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