I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
