too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
