just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
