Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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