I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
My underwear smells like fireworks.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
