woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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