you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
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I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
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I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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