Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize