Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
