I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
