guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
