The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
being pregnant is like rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize