ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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