how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
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Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
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11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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