In the future we'll all be gay
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
