she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
well I can't set my house on fire every night
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
