Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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