I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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