Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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