last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
