i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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