My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize