he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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