woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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