Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize