Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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