Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
