no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
