Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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