Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
