I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
why do cheetos always look like penises
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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